welcome to my twisted tea parlor
I’m sorry if i seem weird it’s because I literally am
(via dilettanteyak)
“what if im a bad person” yeah? well what if you arent? what if you’re trying your best and you’re growing and you’re kind? what then?
(via dilettanteyak)
The hoes are unimpressed with your sarcastic detachment, and are enchanted with my sincere wonder. Writhe like the worm you are.
(via soothesoftly)
As someone who has mispronounced so many words because I never actually heard them. I appreciate this post
(via soothesoftly)
byehellsitelmao-deactivated2023:
stop removing usb ports and audio jacks and buttons from electronics stop it you’re hurting them stop it stops top stop it
(via dilettanteyak)
new worldview where i think everyone else has free will and a rich, complex interior life while i am the only person who does not
(via xylocopamicans)
coworker: I think those rich guys in the submarine were trying to investigate the titanic because there’s nephilim artifacts on the shipwreck. that’s why they sank it in the first place, the US government doesn’t want us to know that they’re returning. what do you think, deadname?
me: I mean maybe. lots of things like that are happening all the time. Like it wouldn’t surprise me but i don’t really know that to think one way or the other. I’m taking a smoke break btw
Push notification on my phone from a Tumblr mutual: I’m gonna neuter you then spray you down with a hose in the backyard
(via sanguinarysegmentum)
apparently i’m blogging in the year 1502
(via paidinbrains)
(via paidinbrains)
Turning the brightness all the way down on my phone so the businesswomen on my 7am train can’t see me suck shit at sudoku
(via paidinbrains)
i honestly love the trend to dress up in silly little outfits for events like going to a movie or a concert. like yes besties go all out on that eras tour outfit. dress up in pink from head to toe for the barbie movie. love to see it
(via dilettanteyak)
I’m like if a hater enjoyed things
(via paidinbrains)
everyone’s got that one homie who zealously adheres to his inflexible code of honor even though it has long since become a burden to him
Our contestants are giving a wide variety of answers today folks
[ID: replies reading:
Last monogamous friend who hasn’t joined the polycule…
Zuko?!
mormons
/end ID]
(via soothesoftly)